As with everyone who knew her, it was shocking to find out Motzei Shabbat about the passing of Bonny Silver z’l. The feeling that something is missing in my world still sits with me this morning. My heart is with the Silver family, praying for their comfort amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. I wanted to write about Bonny this morning because the model she set for me is one worth sharing more broadly.
Bonny was one of the first trustees I met when I came to Netivot. She invited me over for tea, and we talked – about education and her time as a teacher, about Netivot and its place in the community, and about life and nothing in particular. She was soft spoken, and yet incredibly clear about her values. Even though I was new and green, she treated me like a seasoned leader. She treated me as an equal. I came to learn that this was her way. She led by putting the other person at the center of her attention and making them feel deeply valued. This was true for each of our conversations in the years that followed.
When I say that Bonny was a model of chesed, my first thought isn’t even about her incredible generosity with Netivot and the many other institutions of Toronto which she supported, though that’s certainly true. It’s about the smile and laugh that was ever-present and made everyone around her feel better; it’s about a humility that only gave her presence more importance; it’s about giving in a way that made the person receiving feel connected and valued. She didn’t just give tzedakah – she did chesed. And in doing so, she built a world – olam chesed ibaneh. Etched into my mind is her smiling face when she would do ‘Bubby carpool’ for Layla or Rami. It was a smile that will be deeply missed.
May her memory be for a bracha, and may Hashem comfort the Silver family on this tragic loss.